OMG!!!1!one!

Remember that job I applied for back in November?

Well.

I was online this afternoon, procrastinating the hell out of my essay. I happened to be on the CUP website, because I check out their job postings once in a while... just for kicks, you know. My cell phone rings, and "Private number" shows up on the screen; I think it's my uncle from NY, since his number is blocked. Girl with a British accent answers, and I'm a little confused. Oh wait, it's the people with my job application, and the boss will be in on Monday, and can I come for an interview on Monday?

[Internal thought process: Oh, it's the CUP, oh my GOD THEY WANT TO INTERVIEW ME. Yes. Great. Wait, I don't have interview attire. That can be fixed. Monday... the College is renovating our bathroom so I won't be able to take a shower. Uh, slightly problematic. Crapcrapcrap.]

What I say: 'Uh, I'm really sorry but Monday won't work for me.'
CUP: 'The boss will be in on January 8th, how about then?'
Me: 'Oh, I won't be back in the country until the 11th.' [thinking: DAMNIT!!! How can I appear more interested in this job?!]
Me: 'I'll have classes after that, but my Wednesdays and Fridays are free. Otherwise, I can work around my classes, just let me know what time would work.'
CUP: 'I'll have to check with the boss and get back to you.'
Me: 'Okay... sorry Monday wouldn't work!' [thinking: GOD why am I so lame...]

And that, my friends, is how you freak out upon being offered an interview.

But all that aside: THE CUP WANTS TO INTERVIEW ME FOR A JOB OMG!!!!

How not to run an experiment involving participants:

• Let them sit and wait while you finish preparing the computer program.
• Don't make small talk with them or appear at all interested that they are real people outside of your study, and as such, have other things to do.
• Don't tell them about your experiment, what you are studying, how this is interesting, etc.
• Don't give them any directions, just tell them to put on the headphones and follow the instructions on the screen.
• Don't tell them approximately how many questions they will be answering at a stretch, or when they can expect to be done.
• Don't check up on them at all, just let them answer question after question after question after question...
• Keep foisting other tasks upon them, again not giving them warning about how many tasks they'll have to do.
• Make them answer MORE questions, after they've clearly gone through the list already but the computer somehow hasn't stored all the data.
• Make them answer MORE QUESTIONS AGAIN after you and the participant have already agreed on a stopping point.
• Give them a questionnaire at the very end, just when they thought they were finished.
• Ask them to come back next week for another part to the experiment.

Seriously. This is how post-doc research is done? I guess 'PhD' does not equal 'common sense and respect.'