Because it's Friday, my day off...

Harry Potter Character Combatibility Test created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Remus Lupin You're a calm, cool, optimistic person who doesn't dwell on the bad but looks more deeply into the good. You're wise and know much about the world, and though you teach your lessons to others, react humbly when complimented on your intelligence. You've suffered a lot in your life but are extremely accepting of it all and suffer inwardly. You're a great friend to have as you're gentle and caring. Remus Lupin 75% Severus Snape 75% Percy Weasley 69% Albus Dumbledore 69% Neville Longbottom 66% Hermione Granger 66% Draco Malfoy 59% Ron Weasley 56% Oliver Wood 50% Luna Lovegood 50% Bellatrix Lestrange 41% Harry Potter 38% Lord Voldemort 34% Sirius Black 34% Also, happy birthday to Müs! It's even on a Friday this year, how excellent. Also, I did not get the job. Mediocre grade and hopes dashed in the span of one week, hooray. (so much for the 'optimistic person' the quiz describes!)

Congratulations, universe. You win.

Lesson #1: All those vibes you put out into the universe do come back to get you. Case in point: Research essay... you know, the one that I put off until the last week of vacation. I've been saying all along that it'll pass, but I'm not sure how good it is. I've also been saying that though I'll be elated if it gets above a 70 (in the range of 55-75, above 70 = a qualification for the PhD program, below 60 = failing), but I'll be content if it gets a grade mid-60s or above.

I got a 65.

On some level, I'm fine with this; it's right in the middle, fairly decent grade, and I'm at Cambridge, so that's pretty good. And I probably deserve it, since I did procrastinate a lot.

But.

This means the pressure is on for the other big essay; I have to get a 70 or above if I want to get into the PhD program. Also, as much as I am sort of content with this grade, it is lower than the grades on my previous three unassessed essays. And the comments are not nice; I don't think I got any positive feedback.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is I don't know what to think. This makes me not want to go for the PhD, because to be honest, I don't feel like dealing with that kind of stress right now. I'm not sure that I want to do it anyway. Also, this is not exactly motivating to work on the essay I have due next week, or to do reading for class. I'm just feeling sort of blah.

Guess I was taking it more seriously than I thought.

OMG!!!1!one!

Remember that job I applied for back in November?

Well.

I was online this afternoon, procrastinating the hell out of my essay. I happened to be on the CUP website, because I check out their job postings once in a while... just for kicks, you know. My cell phone rings, and "Private number" shows up on the screen; I think it's my uncle from NY, since his number is blocked. Girl with a British accent answers, and I'm a little confused. Oh wait, it's the people with my job application, and the boss will be in on Monday, and can I come for an interview on Monday?

[Internal thought process: Oh, it's the CUP, oh my GOD THEY WANT TO INTERVIEW ME. Yes. Great. Wait, I don't have interview attire. That can be fixed. Monday... the College is renovating our bathroom so I won't be able to take a shower. Uh, slightly problematic. Crapcrapcrap.]

What I say: 'Uh, I'm really sorry but Monday won't work for me.'
CUP: 'The boss will be in on January 8th, how about then?'
Me: 'Oh, I won't be back in the country until the 11th.' [thinking: DAMNIT!!! How can I appear more interested in this job?!]
Me: 'I'll have classes after that, but my Wednesdays and Fridays are free. Otherwise, I can work around my classes, just let me know what time would work.'
CUP: 'I'll have to check with the boss and get back to you.'
Me: 'Okay... sorry Monday wouldn't work!' [thinking: GOD why am I so lame...]

And that, my friends, is how you freak out upon being offered an interview.

But all that aside: THE CUP WANTS TO INTERVIEW ME FOR A JOB OMG!!!!

Christmas shopping tip

This is awesome. So awesome, in fact, that I just ordered one for myself. Merry Christmas to me! But if you're looking for gifts, the whole site's pretty cool, so enjoy!

Some events have transpired in the past couple days that have led me to the following conclusion: I have got to find new friends that don't make me feel inferior and/or stupid. Not that they do it on purpose, but that's how it is. Of course, it's hard to make new friends when you spend all your time in class/working/taking naps. Maybe I should start doing my work elsewhere and harassing people in the library.

November is the longest month ever, thanks to NaBloPoMo

All right, so we've reached the point in November when NaBloPoMo has ceased to be fun, and it's now just a matter of principle that I'm going to post every day for the next seven days. (only seven!) It's been a busy week here in Grad School Land, and I can tell that it's time for a break because I'm starting to have a really short temper.

One of my housemates was asking me for help on a cover letter, which I'd already helped him revise two weeks ago and then AGAIN Wednesday morning when I got up early (on my day off!) to look over it for him. So he wanted to redo one of the sentences and asked me what I thought, I told him what I would say, and he was like, 'No, I don't like that, what else can I say?' I said something like, 'You know what? I've got nothing else. It's your cover letter, say whatever you want to say.' Seriously, if you don't agree with me, that's fine, but don't ask me for help then. I'm not going to do your work for you.

I'm also starting to get really annoyed with myself, which is a little weird. Like right now, I'm skipping a talk that I'd wanted to go to, but I just couldn't bring myself to bike all the way over there. Which I know is lazy, and it's only really hurting myself, etc., etc. I just can't be bothered... figured I'd save my energy for the ceilidh I'm playing in tonight. Hopefully that goes well, or I'll start questioning my very existence. Again.

ARGH.

WTF, semantics? Why must you hate me so? Why can't you and my brain just get along? Why do I not understand a single thing in this topic?

So I've been reading articles about the difference between 'each' and 'every'. Apparently there's a difference. I don't think there is. Therein lies the problem.

I'm seriously considering not doing this one. It's unassessed, so it won't hurt my grade, though not doing it might make me look bad. Honestly, though, I don't know if this is worth the effort.

Bleurgh.

A dilemma

One of my many issues deficiencies personality quirks is that I'm really shy, but tend to latch on to people that I've met once and pretend that we're REALLY GOOD FRIENDS. This helps me believe that I can make friends, it's cool, I'm normal, everything's fine. However, the other person has to make the first move; I'm terrified. Of what, I'm not sure... rejection, perhaps? Anyway, so the problem here (one of many) is that I end up meeting a limited amount of people, with whom I don't really become close friends anyway. Also, I hate walking into a place at which I know no one, sidling up to a group of people, and budging in on their conversation.

The problem here (one among many) is that these are ways that you meet people. I am not really meeting people. I recognize this is my own fault, I know ways of fixing it; I'm just incapable of doing so. And part of me is actually okay with this; hi, my name is Bridget and I'm an introvert. However, this is not helping with the feeling of loneliness that comes and goes, and has been more coming than going recently. Actually, it's been kind of steady throughout the past 2 years; I didn't really make any friends in MN, but at least then I was able to rationalize it as work-related. Now it's just the fact that I'm neurotic.

Fate hates me.

I will undoubtedly die alone. With cats.

ETA: Good lord. October really is the month of doom.

Damn it.

I forgot to 'lock' my cell phone before I put it in my bag, so it got smashed around and sent 25 text messages on its own. Most of which were to numbers I didn't know, possibly to China or Myanmar or someplace which costs 25p/text. So (a) I feel really stupid and (b) I'm out four pounds (or so).

Thus continues the day from hell.

Seriously.

Do people not know how to use a phone? Or email? Not to get all self-pitying on you, but I am alone in a foreign country. With no friends. Did I mention I'm by myself? Honestly, sometimes I think that if I disappeared right now, no one would notice.

The months-long blogging gap would be par for the course.

Where is everyone?

Embarrassing stories from Britain #1 and 2

So I made it here, etc., etc. We're going to skip over the madness that was the Rochester Airport, the semi-depression that marked my first few days here, and the mold in the bathroom that hasn't been cleaned since the Carter administration. (Or, since Margaret Thatcher left office. When was that, anyway?) Instead, let's skip right to the Embarrassing Stories About Which I'll Laugh Later, Or At Least Have A Hearty Chuckle!



Embarrassing Story #1:


Organized by the graduate welcome committee, a bunch of us went out to dinner on Monday. We went to an Indian place (henceforth called a 'curry') down the road, which was fantastic, in case you were wondering. There was a fairly large group of us, about 13, most of whom were international students. As is typical for a meal, the portions were fairly large, and I couldn't eat all of my Chicken Korma at once, so I managed to catch the waiter's attention and asked for a box. He looked confused, so I said I'd like to take the rest home. He still seemed a bit taken aback, but he took the rest and brought it back in a box. The girl next to me (a Canadian) then asked for a box for her meal, and he looked even more reluctant, but did so. While he was repackaging her food, one of the Brits was like, 'I've never seen someone do that before.' The Canadian girl and I were like, what? Apparently in Britain, you just don't take home leftovers; you're supposed to eat all your food. And then two other people at the other end of the table (American and Hungarian) asked for boxes for their food, and the waiter was like, 'We don't do that here.' So this Canadian girl and I obviously offended these people by not finishing our meals! We both felt really bad and took a lot of teasing for the rest of the night. Needless to say I can't show up in that restaurant again, at least for a while. Thank goodness there are many, many other curries in town...



Embarrassing Story #2:


Also organized by the graduate welcome committee, a group of students went punting today. It was a gorgeous day, sunny and not too cold. We went up and down the Cam, looking at the scenery and watching the tourists and tour guides maneuver their punts. I had a great time...until I tried punting myself. I felt like I was going to lose my balance and fall in the water, and I got us turned around twice and almost lost the pole! I was the worst one in our punt; it was pretty embarrassing. Clearly, being punted is much more fun than actually punting. Well, at least I've tried it and know I can't really do it. Also, at least I have photographic evidence:

The Bridge of Sighs, St. John's College

Punts of tourists (and grad students) trying to get a handle on how to punt

The river Cam

(that is indeed me in the foreground...I told you I was there!)

One of the buildings of (the entirely too wealthy) St. John's College

I should go do some reading for class now. How are you?

Rampant indecision, ahoy!

First of all, someone just came roaring down the street blasting Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody'! Excellent! Party on, Wayne!

Getting back to the task at hand: Have you ever had one of those weeks when you question every decision you make? I haven't had one of those in a while, but this week is apparently one of them. Combined with fairly large decisions being made, this is not the best phenomenon. To wit:

• I sent in my visa application on Monday. There were a number of questions that weren't entirely clear (do they mean the hours I'll be spending in class or the 'full-time student' number of 40 hours per week?), but I filled it out and sent it in anyway. Hopefully they'll give me a visa; it would reeeeeeeeeeally suck if they didn't. Has anyone ever been turned down for a visa who hasn't been a terrorist?
• I also bought flight tickets. I leave out of Rochester (on September 27, in case you wanted to know) and connect in Toronto, where I'll be spending 9 hours. Toronto better have a kick-ass airport, because I will be going nuts. Also, I've decided to come back for Christmas, since I spent the holidays abroad once, and it's not as great as you might think. However, I then talked to Müs, who has colored me crazy for coming back, when I could be spending New Year's in London or some equally fun city. And don't they do some big New Year's thing up in Scotland? So I'm second-guessing this decision, too, although the tickets are non-refundable and therefore it's too late...
• I got a packet of information from my college, explaining what to do upon arrival as well as day-to-day stuff. And this somehow made the whole Cambridge thing sink in. Of course, I immediately thought, 'What am I doing?!' I think I really am crazy. Going into debt, to get a degree that I'm not entirely sure will prove useful, after which I have no clue what to do... who else does this?

I just keep reminding myself that this has been a dream of mine for almost 3 years, and it would truly be a poor choice to give up on your dream. Plus, I'm determined to have an awesome time.

Last, no one is buying my car or my furniture. Damn it.

Boring weather post

So there's a huge thunderstorm system headed our way, with at least three tornado cells. We're not under tornado warning yet (I wouldn't be blogging; I'm not that stupid), but it seems to be getting closer. I have no previous experience with tornadoes. This is no fun.

This is the part where I wish I wasn't alone out here.

I'll probably post again later, feeling silly when this whole thing is over.

*Edit: Thankfully, no tornadoes hit my neighborhood. However, lightning struck a power line 3 houses down from me and so we have no power. Joyous.

I am such a wimp.

It would figure that the Big Snowstorm Of The Winter So Far (cue shrieking) would occur on the one free day I'll have in the space of two weeks. I desperately need to go grocery shopping and do my laundry today, because I won't get a chance to until next weekend, but the snow is blowing sideways and I don't want to go outside. I'm not a great driver in the best of conditions, but freezing rain and snow and wind is a bit much. Maybe I'll just be that obnoxious person who drives at like 10 miles an hour down a busy road.

All right, I'm going to suck it up and go now. Wish me luck!

ETA: I made it back in one piece from the grocery store, in case anyone was wondering. However, I got stuck halfway up the driveway when I got back. The driveway is short but steep, and so I had to leave the car parked with the tail end sticking out into the road while I shoveled out the wheels so I could try to pull it in... twice. After that (and fishtailing all over the short driveway), I decided that I could live without doing laundry for another few days. Heh. I have never missed a washing machine more in my life.

Why...

... am I such a basketcase?!

... can't I not flip out during a first date?!

... can't I just go out on a date like a normal person?!

I'm 25, for god's sake. I clearly need mental help.