Even though Halloween was two days ago, I feel some observations are in order (apologies to folks on Facebook, who got one of these rants from me already):
1. Has Halloween etiquette changed since the mid-90s? Since when is it appropriate to ask for a specific type of candy during trick-or-treating? This happened twice at our door; one girl wanted Almond Joy and another wanted SweeTarts. (They were in separate groups.) So.. if you ask for a candy and I don't have it, does that mean I don't have to give you anything? The kicker is that we always have awesome candy for Halloween -- results in better leftover candy to eat after it's over -- and let the kids choose at least two pieces. Last year, I even started giving them three because there weren't many kids around. If you can't find your favorite sweets among a selection of Kit Kats, Almond Snickers, a variety of Clark Bars, Reese's, and York Peppermint Patties, then (a) you are one picky child and (b) just be happy to not receive pennies, apples, or those horrible orange and black wrapped taffy things that nobody likes. Also, this phenomenon doesn't seem to be confined to my section of suburbia. What is going on, are kids becoming spoiled brats?! Get off my lawn.
2. Moving on from "what is wrong with kids these days", what is wrong with grown-ups these days? Halloween has become more and more sheltered, and it seems like adults are bent on sucking the fun out of it. While I do agree with some rules for school parties (for example, no weapons, toys/props or masks in school), many restrictions are just over the top. Does "no culturally insensitive costumes" mean no Indians? (There goes my 4th grade costume.) Why discourage scary monsters or horror movie costumes, instead asking kids to dress as their favorite historical figure or healthy snack? Hate to break it to you, but that is the making of the lamest Halloween ever. Also, crazy new-age parents who are anti-junk food and give out things like toothbrushes or books deserve to have one of their life's pleasures taken away. Not that I'm anti-children's books -- I'm extremely pro-book -- but Halloween is the one night of the year when kids can eat enough candy to send them into a frenzy and subsequently a sugar-crash-induced coma. They're pressured and badgered enough for the other 364 days, let them have some fun.
3. I was going to go on about the sluttifying of Halloween, but all that ranting wore me out. Go read this, and tell me that's not ridiculous.
That's right, I hate everyone. Now you know.
2 comments:
1) Seriously?? That's unbelievable. Those kids should consider themselves damned lucky for getting the top-notch selection of name brand candy we always hand, especially when it's dispensed from a silver platter. This just blows my mind. There goes the neighborhood.
2) Goddamn it.
3) That I'm not as concerned about.
4) So you guys got an elliptical now? So... you traded in a socially healthy gym membership in for a chance to spend whole weeks without seeing another human being? This seems odd to me.
Yeah... I was torn about having the elliptical. The gym was really an excuse to leave the house, so now I need to work on more reasons. On the plus side, no excuses for not working out daily. I should be a supermodel by Christmas.
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