Update on the general status of things

Dad is fine, thank goodness. Apparently he has developed an infection (!), but should be out of the hospital soon. Hopefully tomorrow.

Things are generally better. I still feel really stupid a majority of the time, but I put in a lot of hours this weekend on...well, pretty much everything. So there's that. I get my essay back tomorrow, though, so will probably be in tears again.

Also, went to a formal hall at Christ's College with two of my classmates tonight. (Sidenote: Every time I hear the name of this college, it's like an expletive: Christ's! College. There is also Jesus! Green and Jesus! Lane.) This was fantastic for a number of reasons:

1. Going out to eat for relatively cheap (6 pounds...that's right, $12 is now relatively cheap for me. Good lord.) and not having to cook or do dishes.
2. Getting an insider tour of Christ's! College. The dining hall is straight out of Harry Potter, with dark wood paneling, stained glass windows, portraits, and long tables of people wearing gowns. (Though gowns were optional. It did provide a way to tell the graduates from the undergrads, though: all the undergrads were in gowns.)
3. Chatting with my classmates and finding out they're just as lost as I am!! Oh, thank God. I feel considerably better about my status in the class; if I'm at the bottom, there are at least two people almost down there with me.
4. Walking back through the city on a clear, moonlight night made me remember that I am lucky to be here. Not everyone gets to do this. I keep forgetting about that and have to kick myself once in a while.

Two more things: Hi, Hans Martin! Also, can I just say Christ's! College one more time? Awesome, thanks.

So.

Things are not good. Not, not good.

• First of all, my dad is in the hospital with a broken leg. He's fine now, but only after surgery and some time in the ICU. There are also underlying problems here that I'm not going to get into. Also, no one bothered to inform me of this until a week after it happened.
• V. lonely. *cue the self-pity* For reasons mentioned in the previous post. And the fact that I don't have good friends here yet. And that people in my class are weird and competitive as hell. *tries to beat self-pity back with a stick*
• My essay was crap. Really awful. I'm not just saying this.
• Completely lost again in class today, because I spent all last week doing reading for the essay, and not reading for my classes.
• Apparently I get all the effects of being hungover without the 'fun' of being drunk. Curse you, genes.
• Too tired to eat. I have no food anyway. This is something I should maybe remedy.

Going to bed early tonight; maybe 12 hours of sleep will help. Also, maybe I should do something fun this weekend, like go to London... let's just ignore the fact that I am po'...

Names acceptable for cats owned by a cat lady:

• Sprinkles
• Marmalade
• Mittens
• Snowball
• Cupcake
• Garbage ('TO', anyone?)

Suggestions?

Fate hates me.

I will undoubtedly die alone. With cats.

ETA: Good lord. October really is the month of doom.

Matriculation dinner, Windsor castle, etc.

The thing about not having class on Fridays is that I tend to sit around and not do anything. I have reading to do, and an essay to write, but no! Let's update my blog, shall we?

On Monday, we had a formal matriculation dinner at the College. Rumor has it, this was the best meal we'll get all year... and it was FREE. The food was indeed delicious: a three-course meal including smoked salmon with cream cheese, pork with roasted vegetables, and a lime marscapone tart. It also involved candles, more silverware than I've ever seen, mandatory gown-wearing, and lots and lots of wine. (heh) Oh yeah, and I got to sit at the head table, next to the Master of the college. (Don't know what the equivalent of his position would be in the US... something like the Dean, on a slightly smaller scale?) I'm not entirely sure how I managed this. Apparently he wanted to sit next to a linguist, or something. At any rate, it was a bit intimidating sitting in the middle of the high table, next to the Master, but I managed to make enough small talk. (and then he turned to other people at the table and I could just sit back and listen) The guy has this amazingly dry sense of humor. Added bonus: I got to hear all sorts of sordid stories about the College.

The rest of the week has been pretty much awful, with this (8-page) essay I have due on Monday. I spent the entire day Wednesday in the library reading for it, and didn't understand a thing. Just now, I sort of have an idea, but I haven't started writing yet. We'll see if I actually do know what I'm talking about when I start working on it.

Randomly, here's a picture of my house. Or, more accurately, the house in which I rent an 11' by 7' cubicle. I live on Windsor Road (how English!), so I suppose you could call this Windsor Castle:

Pictures of my cell room available upon request.

Damn it.

I forgot to 'lock' my cell phone before I put it in my bag, so it got smashed around and sent 25 text messages on its own. Most of which were to numbers I didn't know, possibly to China or Myanmar or someplace which costs 25p/text. So (a) I feel really stupid and (b) I'm out four pounds (or so).

Thus continues the day from hell.

Seriously.

Do people not know how to use a phone? Or email? Not to get all self-pitying on you, but I am alone in a foreign country. With no friends. Did I mention I'm by myself? Honestly, sometimes I think that if I disappeared right now, no one would notice.

The months-long blogging gap would be par for the course.

Where is everyone?

Announcements

I'm now on gmail, so if anyone has Google chat, we can chat! Send me an email and I'll let you know my chat name. (Still using my other email address(es), so use either or both of those.)

Also, send me an email if you want my snail mail address here... and I'll send you a postcard! I'll probably get around to sending you a postcard anyway (that is, if I have your address), but that sentence sounded like it needed some reciprocity to it.

Thus endeth the blatant plea for attention announcements.

Observations

I figured I should probably write about the more mundane stuff in my life, to prove it's not all glamorousness, gowns and punting. Plus, I have no class today and am procrastinating all the errands I have to do: get new bed linens, get a new cable for my computer, exchange travelers' checks, buy lights for my bike, buy some food... heh. Anyway.

• This program is incredibly difficult. That sounds rather ridiculous for two reasons: (a) am I trolling for sympathy here?, and (b) it's Cambridge, it's supposed to be hard. But when you've got eight 2-hour-long lectures a week (plus two tutorials, which are also two hours long and a chance to practice/review stuff from two classes) and are supposed to be doing exercises and 50 to 100 pages of outside reading for each class (minimum), it's hard to keep it all straight. I've already forgotten to do some exercises for phonetics and had to fake it. Oops. It'll be extra interesting next week when we have to write an 8-page paper on top of all this.
• People here are über-competitive. Which surprises me a bit, because what happened to solidarity and the 'we're all going through this together' sort of attitude? Maybe that's how the Europeans do it: they don't show that they're confused/nervous/frustrated about a class, they don't ask questions (unless said questions are phrased in such a way to show off their vast knowledge) and they don't let on that anything is less than crystal-clear to them. Also, no one works together; everyone does the problem sets on their own, everyone has their own copy of the reading, and everyone bolts out of class at the end of the day without bothering to say goodbye. Seriously, I'm not going to take your place in the Ph.D. program away from you; you can at least say hello to me.
• I feel exceedingly stupid on a regular basis. Corollary to points 1 and 2 above.
• Biking on the left side of the road isn't as hard as I thought it would be. It's actually quite fun to bike around again. Except the other day, when it was raining. That was not so much fun.
• I tried yoga for the first time yesterday. I've always wanted to try it, but it took some convincing from a friend. It was okay; some parts were easier than others (hello, no upper body strength) but today my arms are killing me. Good thing I have a week to recover. Maybe by Monday I'll be able to lift my hands above my head without my shoulders hurting.
• Laundry is a giant pain. The house has no washer or dryer, and so you must schlep all your laundry to the College (whereby a 10-minute walk turns into a 20-minute walk because your stuff is so damn heavy and awkward) and THEN schlep your clothes (some of which are wet) all the way back. At which point your stuff is all wrinkled. My plan for next time is to steal a shopping cart from Aldi and become a cart lady.
• The British version of 'The Office' is awesome! However, it doesn't quite equal the greatness that is the American version. But maybe that's just me. Either way, it's still damn funny. Also, I've converted two people to 'The Office'. I am insidious.

All right, it's time to take a shower and get this show on the road. Yay for errands.

Three posts in four days: it's a blogging extravaganza!

We had our graduate student photo today at the College. (Doesn't it sound a little pretentious when I say things like that, particularly when it's spelled with a capital letter? That is really what people say, though. You can almost hear the capital letters.) It was rather cool to see everyone all dressed up, in their black robes (or 'gowns'). I get to wear a Master's gown, since I'm over 24, even though I don't have a Master's yet... ha! One advantage to being old! The sleeves are quite fun; you can probably hide all sorts of things in them. We also took a picture of people who live in my house, all dressed up...well, at least five of them; one seems to be missing in action. I might post that photo at some point.

Anyway, here's really what I wanted to share: After the photo, we had a barbecue on the lawn. I was very excited about the hamburgers; after days of pasta and frozen dinner, I was looking forward to real food. (Let's just ignore BSE for a moment.) We waited in line for about 15 minutes, finally got some food, I took a bite... and it was mushy. Apparently in Britain, 'hamburgers' are comprised of onion bits, flour or some sort of filler, and (oh yeah) beef. It was the worst hamburger I've ever had; I couldn't finish it. So now I'm considering cooking burgers for dinner tonight, just to get that taste out of my mouth. Blergh.

Moral: Do not eat hamburgers in England.

Help me!

I am totally going through 'Office' withdrawal. I have been reloading this page nearly all day, trying to load episode 2, but it won't work! Fortunately, I could watch the season premiere online last week, but I've now been to three different sites and can't get the newest episode to work on any of them! Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

If anyone can help me out here, you will get chocolate from England. And it is delicious. I'm eating some right now. Mmmm, Cadbury's Dairy Milk.

Embarrassing stories from Britain #1 and 2

So I made it here, etc., etc. We're going to skip over the madness that was the Rochester Airport, the semi-depression that marked my first few days here, and the mold in the bathroom that hasn't been cleaned since the Carter administration. (Or, since Margaret Thatcher left office. When was that, anyway?) Instead, let's skip right to the Embarrassing Stories About Which I'll Laugh Later, Or At Least Have A Hearty Chuckle!



Embarrassing Story #1:


Organized by the graduate welcome committee, a bunch of us went out to dinner on Monday. We went to an Indian place (henceforth called a 'curry') down the road, which was fantastic, in case you were wondering. There was a fairly large group of us, about 13, most of whom were international students. As is typical for a meal, the portions were fairly large, and I couldn't eat all of my Chicken Korma at once, so I managed to catch the waiter's attention and asked for a box. He looked confused, so I said I'd like to take the rest home. He still seemed a bit taken aback, but he took the rest and brought it back in a box. The girl next to me (a Canadian) then asked for a box for her meal, and he looked even more reluctant, but did so. While he was repackaging her food, one of the Brits was like, 'I've never seen someone do that before.' The Canadian girl and I were like, what? Apparently in Britain, you just don't take home leftovers; you're supposed to eat all your food. And then two other people at the other end of the table (American and Hungarian) asked for boxes for their food, and the waiter was like, 'We don't do that here.' So this Canadian girl and I obviously offended these people by not finishing our meals! We both felt really bad and took a lot of teasing for the rest of the night. Needless to say I can't show up in that restaurant again, at least for a while. Thank goodness there are many, many other curries in town...



Embarrassing Story #2:


Also organized by the graduate welcome committee, a group of students went punting today. It was a gorgeous day, sunny and not too cold. We went up and down the Cam, looking at the scenery and watching the tourists and tour guides maneuver their punts. I had a great time...until I tried punting myself. I felt like I was going to lose my balance and fall in the water, and I got us turned around twice and almost lost the pole! I was the worst one in our punt; it was pretty embarrassing. Clearly, being punted is much more fun than actually punting. Well, at least I've tried it and know I can't really do it. Also, at least I have photographic evidence:

The Bridge of Sighs, St. John's College

Punts of tourists (and grad students) trying to get a handle on how to punt

The river Cam

(that is indeed me in the foreground...I told you I was there!)

One of the buildings of (the entirely too wealthy) St. John's College

I should go do some reading for class now. How are you?

Minneapolis, I hardly knew ye

Dear Twin Cities,

The time has come for us to say goodbye, too soon. Two years isn't enough to really get to know you; it's barely enough to get used to your winters. And yet the time has come for me to move on to other things. Things that are possibly bigger and better, but considerably less friendly.

I'll miss some things about you, Twin Cities. Your bike paths and parks, your lakes and fantastic summer weather are really some of your main draws. Not to mention the ice cream places (within walking distance!) I have come to know and love. From now on, my life will be incomplete without Guinness ice cream. I'll also miss Summit Ave., walking to the movie theater, Lakes Calhoun and Harriet, the MOA, the Irish Fair, Grand Old Days and good old Bus #63. We've shared some good times, you and I.

But we both know that relationships aren't perfect, Twin Cities. I'm willing to grant you your somewhat irrational love for the State Fair. And, if you twist my arm, I'll even ignore the strange names you have for things, like the kids' game 'Duck Duck Gray Duck' or calling all casseroles 'hotdish'. However, I am just not okay with the passive-aggressive tendency, or the fact that 'Minnesota Nice' is just a cover for any sort of backstabbing that may be going on. Also, the fact that your drivers tailgate like they want to see themselves in my bumper, or all the merging and exiting that happens on your highways from the left? Twin Cities, these have caused me hours of stress. I'm not pointing this out to hurt you; I'm just trying to be honest. I haven't lived in MN long enough that I can sugarcoat everything. Sorry.

I have to say, though, that you broadened my life. My first job, apartment and car were with you. Thanks to your (relatively) close proximity to the SPAM Museum, I tried that 'food' for the first time. I met many, many fantastic people, thanks to you. There really are much worse places than you, Twin Cities, and I'm glad to have gotten to know you. Don't ever change.

Well, except for the awful drivers and the ridiculously convoluted highways. That's annoying as hell.

Love,
Bridget

Kindergarten, first grade and now third grade

So I'm the third grade teacher for the week. They had gotten someone else to do this, but I just found out on Friday that there'd been a change of plans and was I still available. Uh... sure? I'll be one of four (!) adults in the room, but basically I'm in charge of setting the routines and rules and generally laying the smack down. Because that's what I do best.

It's funny how I feel about this; I'm not exactly thrilled, but I'm not dreading it either. Actually, I'm kind of ambivalent about the whole thing. Of course, I did spend about an hour and a half tonight, writing plans to the minute detail (because, again, that's what I do), but I just want it to go well. I've got no personal investment in this class, since I'm leaving in a week; I'm just in it for the paycheck. Is that shallow? Perhaps. But it's saving me a lot of stress. I wonder if teaching is like this for people who do it their entire lives. And I wonder if that's a good or a bad thing.

Anyway, I should go to bed, and brace myself for tomorrow. Just figured I would post these thoughts for posterity.

The Great Minnesota Get-Together

Things I Saw At The State Fair:

• Newborn lambs, calves, chicks, and piglets.


• MN's largest boar: 1200 pounds! It could probably have eaten me if it had wanted to.


• Food on a stick: corn dogs, roasted corn, 'hotdish', pork chops, pizza, caramel apples. Yes, each of these was on a stick.


• Rides, carnival games and crappy prizes.


• Demonstration on how to milk a cow.


• All sorts of random vendors.


• MN's best jarred vegetables, pies, etc.


• A giant slide!


• Cowboy hats.


• More leather accessories than you have ever seen.


• A barbecue grill shaped like a pig.


• Miniature horses that only come up to your thigh.


• A sculptor carving one of the fair's princesses in a block of butter.

I honestly don't see the appeal. I mean, it was mildly amusing, but 3 hours was enough and I definitely couldn't come every day. Cross one more thing off the list of things to see!

Car update

Apparently the Blue Book value of my car has depreciated $800 in one day! It was $11,740 when I checked last night, and now it's suddenly worth $10,940. What the hell, man. No wonder it's not selling. Now I have to call the newspaper and edit my ad...what a pain.

Also, my driving experience today was further proof that I need to move somewhere where there is excellent public transportation. (NYC, DC, or ... Europe) Horrific.

State Fair update coming (most likely) tomorrow, as I am too tired and/or stressed out to be coherent right now.

I'll just play violin on the street for money

Out of curiosity (no bitterness, none at all), I was checking out the people who've been awarded that prestigious scholarship I was going for, the one that would have paid for all my costs. There are 48 of them, and I'd say that at least 40 are going into fields that have something to do with science, mostly biochem or molecular biology. Does this seem unfair to anyone? I mean, a big part of this scholarship's application is showing how you intend to help others with the education you'll have received at Cambridge; are they saying that teaching children a second language isn't worthwhile? Granted, it's not curing cancer or anything, but how many people are going to do that? A few, eventually. How many people could be more effective teachers, by reading (my future) research? Hundreds of thousands, immediately. (perhaps that's overestimating just a little...) So I'm a little annoyed at that.

Also, check out where they're from: Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Duke, UPenn. Dude, if you could afford to go to these undergrad schools, then you obviously don't need a scholarship anywhere else. Also (#2), some of these people are from places like Chappaqua, NY. Are you freaking kidding me?! You clearly don't need any extra money.

Or it could just be that I don't run marathons in my spare time, or I'm not smart enough, or I'm not like this guy: '[I] have completed graduate math and physics classes since freshman year at Duke. In addition, I have studied Victorian literature at Oxford, globalization in Geneva, applied math in Budapest, particle physics at CERN and microfinance in rural China.' Good lord:

• (a) I can't compete with that,
• (b) Pompous, what?

Sorry if that's mean. But throw me a frickin' bone here.

In contrast to the previous post...

...because I am bipolar.

I was just reading some of my blog entries from back in the day (because I am awesome like that), and a few things came to mind:

1. Hey, my writing was somewhat entertaining!
2. I have had this blog for TWO YEARS.
3. Wow, I was really miserable for that entire first school year. More than I currently remember.

Makes me calm myself down and realize that this next adventure is actually pretty cool, if somewhat less practical. Also, that I should write more descriptively about more interesting events; too bad I'm not terribly full of those. Watch for an update about the Minnesota State Fair, which is huge here. I kid you not.

Also, I have got to stop posting at 1.00am.

Rampant indecision, ahoy!

First of all, someone just came roaring down the street blasting Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody'! Excellent! Party on, Wayne!

Getting back to the task at hand: Have you ever had one of those weeks when you question every decision you make? I haven't had one of those in a while, but this week is apparently one of them. Combined with fairly large decisions being made, this is not the best phenomenon. To wit:

• I sent in my visa application on Monday. There were a number of questions that weren't entirely clear (do they mean the hours I'll be spending in class or the 'full-time student' number of 40 hours per week?), but I filled it out and sent it in anyway. Hopefully they'll give me a visa; it would reeeeeeeeeeally suck if they didn't. Has anyone ever been turned down for a visa who hasn't been a terrorist?
• I also bought flight tickets. I leave out of Rochester (on September 27, in case you wanted to know) and connect in Toronto, where I'll be spending 9 hours. Toronto better have a kick-ass airport, because I will be going nuts. Also, I've decided to come back for Christmas, since I spent the holidays abroad once, and it's not as great as you might think. However, I then talked to Müs, who has colored me crazy for coming back, when I could be spending New Year's in London or some equally fun city. And don't they do some big New Year's thing up in Scotland? So I'm second-guessing this decision, too, although the tickets are non-refundable and therefore it's too late...
• I got a packet of information from my college, explaining what to do upon arrival as well as day-to-day stuff. And this somehow made the whole Cambridge thing sink in. Of course, I immediately thought, 'What am I doing?!' I think I really am crazy. Going into debt, to get a degree that I'm not entirely sure will prove useful, after which I have no clue what to do... who else does this?

I just keep reminding myself that this has been a dream of mine for almost 3 years, and it would truly be a poor choice to give up on your dream. Plus, I'm determined to have an awesome time.

Last, no one is buying my car or my furniture. Damn it.

Face-lift

I'm trying out a new style of blog, here (obviously). I figured after two years with the same style, it's time for a change. Nothing like moving to a new country to reinvent yourself and your blog!

So does it look good? Does it reflect my personality? Does it make me look fat? Please comment!